Even before I the tragic suicide of Lee Thompson Young, I was talking to my family about how many young famous people are dying by their own hands lately. This is something that always caught my attention, something I always sort of identified with, in a way.
Not that I’m successful, of course. But I guess that it’s because when you seem to have it all, it’s easier for your pain to go unnoticed. And that’s something that really gets to me. When I write, that’s the kind of character I like to approach.
My whole life I have been the kind of person whose pain has gone by unnoticed, while most of the time, I can’t go into a room without catching people’s attention. It’s just who I am, you know? I’m mostly an extrovert, I’m chatty, bubbly, I talk a lot. So, people just don’t see what’s under the surface. I seem to have it all.
That’s why when I see someone like Gia Allemand killed herself, something inside of me twists. I had actually never heard of the girl before, but I was reading about her, seeing her pictures, and mostly, reading the comments about her, and pretty much all of them were: “Why would someone like her, who was beautiful, bright, rich, funny end her own life?” Why would someone who had it it all just kill themselves?
And that hits me to the core. Because it just shows how shallow people are. How superficially they look. Obviously, the girl didn’t have it all. Obviously, she wasn’t happy. It makes me wonder, when was the last time someone actually sat and asked, “Hey, Gia, how are you feeling? How have things been with you?” And meant it. Because it makes all the difference, to have someone that cares. That means it.
I was reading about Lee Thompson Young, and most of the comments, were, like Gia’s, that he made everyone around him just feel good! And, it makes me wonder, could no one see the sadness in his eyes, as he brought the smile to someone else’s?
Of course, I’m not blaming anyone. If someone really is set to kill themselves, there’s little anyone can do to stop them. That’s an illusion people like to put at the back of their guilty minds, that there’s something they could have done. Really, they couldn’t.
Still, I like to call attention to it, because it really makes a difference, to someone who’s living, and hurting, and thinking of killing themselves, when someone sees their pain. Especially someone who seems to have it all. As I was saying, when I write, I like to write, often, about beautiful, “richsh”, intelligent characters, who have issues, troubles, who need to succeed in life like everyone.
I know, that seems mostly unrelatable. I guess it’s because I’m sick to people look at the underdog. Everyone knows that the people who are being bullied need help. Everyone knows people who aren’t ‘successful’ — I’m talking career wise — may need help. Everyone knows people who are far off the socially imposed beauty standards — which I in no way condone — may need help.
But what about the people who are… just there? People who walk every day with smiles on their faces, with relationships, great jobs, happy families, beautiful looks? Who pays attention to them? Sometimes, they need help, too.
When a young successful person kills themselves, everyone is judgmental, about what a waste it is. About how they threw everything away. About how they have so much. But how different are they from you and me? Just because I’m about 10 sizes bigger and still trying to find my place in the world? Just because you have to work three jobs to make ends meet? Just because your sister’s best friend gets picked on at school every day. Is our depression more dignified than theirs? Are we allowed to hurt more? Is our suicide justified?
Bullshit! I say people who seem to have it all end up going unnoticed and that’s much harder on them. It’s hard for someone to ask for help, if they feel no one will understand their needs. For one, I feel for them. I feel for their success, and for their pain. I can’t imagine. I just hope they found peace.